You know you are going bald when you feel the need to give yourself a haircut every two weeks to hide your ever-thinning hair.I first became concerned about my hair loss about six years ago when I noticed a small little bald patch just behind my hairline. At this point I was very much in the stage of denial. I rationalized that I had cut my hair a little shorter than normal. Or perhaps the guard of the razor had come loose as I cut that portion of my hair. How else could there be such a little patch with a little less hair on it? What an odd place for such a patch!
My next phase was anger. After my intial reaction of denial, I noticed small pieces of hair in my hands after I washed them. When I woke up I saw tiny little hair folicles left behind on my pillow. At this stage of my life I was trying to hold on to any dignity that I could get. I burned with anger that my hairline was literally slipping through my fingers.
Today I am ready to concede that I am losing my hair. I have processed the residual denial and anger from my own personal hairline journey and I have accepted that I am a 30 year old balding man. I refuse to live in a fantasy world that denies this simple fact. I have seen pictures that dispel any notion I would have of an alternate reality. Avoidance of this reality would be nothing short of a foundational conflict in my being.
I am resolute in my acceptence. I am finally ready to grow up.
I have nothing to fear knowing that my best Bozo days lie ahead.
9 comments:
I, for one, would love to hear Olivia's comments on your hair loss.
I'm not sure if I can be of any consolation. I'm not losing hair. In fact, I seem to be growing it in a lot of places I didn't used to.
I was gonna leave you a comment on your earlier post, but posting one on THIS entry requires less thought, so what the hell. Enjoy those power alleys, my friend. And for what it's worth, Bozo was my clown of choice as a kid, and it would be pretty sweet if you had hair like him, continued to write deep theological ponderances, maybe had a ferret, wore a sports jacket w/ leather elbow patches, et al.
Olivia's comments on JB's hair loss:
First off let me establish the fact that JB has hair loss on only one surface of his body...his head. He is has a magnificent display of body hair! JB has asked me to avoid any further commentary regarding his body hair.
On to the subject at hand, I find it hard to have sympathy for male hair loss due to the fact that men look amazing with closely buzzed heads. Have you ever seen Tom Ford? Google him men. Fact established.
Female hair loss, however, is completely tragic. This is a subject to garner sympathy....
I have MANY thoughts on JB's neck beard (he strongly prefers "neck fro", I ignore this openly). I like a man well groomed. A well groomed man will have his neck shaved perfectly. JB is meticulous with his beard, insanely. He has a beard comb!!!...he scrambles to find it when he missplaces it. But the neck beard can grow and grow with hardly any notice....
Maybe it's just me, but Googling Tom Ford was like looking in the mirror.
Katie, I think you just described my favorite professor from college.
As far as the "neck fro" is concerned, I am clearly overcompensating as a result of my loss. I had proposed the idea of a neck fro mullet with long wisps (locks?) of thin, fluffy hair floating down my back, but the idea was met with scorn.
Um, I apologize for urging anyone to google image tom ford...I just did and I was apalled. JB did it first and let me know how bad it was. Don't even do it out of curiosity. Stop! It's bad news.
I should clarify that when I commented that "Googling Tom Ford was like looking the mirror" I was referring to his image and not the accompanying images of a certain add campaign, et al. But thank you Olivia for leading me down a path of sin and degradation.
If you have held onto your dignity till 30, you have done so a decade longer than I. But as you say, there comes a time when you look in the mirror and think to yourself, 'Bald is beautiful' with a sense of pride.
On the other hand if I let my hair grow for more than two weeks, I don't leave the house without a baseball hat, so I am not sure if it is actually pride.
Tom -- I fear that my "bald is beautiful" phase may not be too far off, but I will try to hide my fear as best I can.
Chuck -- After your "Tom Ford/mirror" comment you should add vanity to your sin and degredation list.
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