One of the enduring memories I have of my brief stay in Paris comes from a rather unexpected place. While walking in the city's underground Metro system, my wife and I came upon a beggar facing the bustling passersby on her knees. Being on one's knees seems like a natural position for a beggar and perhaps you have observed someone begging for alms on their knees before. As obvious as it may seem, I had not seen this before nor have I seen it since. As I passed by this woman (without stopping or offering any aid) I was struck by the look of sincere desperation on her face. I was left with the distinct impression that she considered herself very much dependent on the help of others for her continued survival. Without this help she would perish. She was begging for mercy.
I could contrast this experience with my observances of the homeless in America (in reality, I pay little mind to the homeless around me or perhaps view them with disdain), many of which are equally unfortunate.
On one occasion several years ago, I was harassed by a homeless woman who believed I was laughing at her when she asked me for money. Likely mentally ill, this woman proceeded to yell and curse at me while I crossed the street and continued this behavior until I was out of earshot more than a block away. More recently, a man who purported to be stranded on the side of the road in my neighborhood blatantly lied to me about his situation so that I would give him money (which I did).
I do not share these stories with the intention of lessening our compassion for the poor and oppressed. But these stories do remind me of the depths our fallen nature can take us to when stripped of our comforts and faced with an uncomfortable reality.
The circumstances of the homeless, whether in Paris or in Seattle, may seem quite different from our own. Indeed, as I type this post sitting in relative luxury, I am reminded of the many differences. Still, I wonder if the dissimilarity between my own circumstances and that of a homeless beggar simply provides a convenient opportunity for me to avoid a potentially jarring reality: that I too am not an autonomous individual, I am not a rock or an island, but I am very much dependent on others for my basic survival.
This dependency is not purely physical but also spiritual. If I have eyes to see and ears to hear, I am reminded of this reality daily. Both in my thoughts and in my actions I am self-centered and not selfless. I am sick and in need of healing.
How might I react to this realization of my dependency? Like a spoiled child, do I become angry and curse God or my fellow brothers and sisters?
I believe we are best served by choosing to emulate the beggar in Paris, who when confronted with a desperate situation, seemed to respond in humble acceptance. Realizing her need for healing deliverance -- for salvation --she responded by taking the best course of action possible: getting on her knees and begging for mercy.
2 comments:
I think it is when we are on our knees with the understanding that we are utterly desperate that God is most merciful and gives us ultimate freedom! Praise Him for His wonderful and mysterious ways!
It might be helpful to make a distinction between self-flagellation and "begging for mercy," which I intended to be synonymous with repentance. Ideally, in order to repent, one must be contrite of heart and humble, whereas self-flagellation is not humility but could just be some sort of wicked projection of my own ego.
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