Snow is pretty

I like the snow.
The snow is pretty.
In general, Seattle drivers are idiots.
Seattle drivers in the snow are really big idiots.

Click on the picture to view the original shot.

Merry Xmas

The following was included in our parish's weekly e-newsletter (I did not write the article):

Every holiday season, newspapers, malls and television commercials urge you to take advantage of "Xmas sales and specials." The word "Xmas" is easier to use in advertisements, and as a result, it's become associated with the commercialization of Christmas. But some Christians take
offense to the word "Xmas" and have called for the abolishment of this truncated version of the word "Christmas."

So why is it so controversial, and where did it originate?

For some, Xmas is a dreaded four-letter word that reemerges every holiday season. The phrase is literally and symbolically distasteful, according to its critics. Not only does it "X" out Christ, the religious figure at the heart of the holiday, it also represents a secularization of Christmas, what some see as focusing more on the presents under the Christmas tree and less on religious observance and the birth of baby Jesus.

Other Christians, who feel that Xmas takes the "Christ" out of "Christmas," believe that the letter X is used because of its resemblance to a cross, or to avoid the proclamation of Jesus' name. This modern trend, they say, must be bucked, so that people can be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas.

But it turns out that "Xmas"­ isn't a modern convention at all.It was used commonly in 16th-century Europe, when many people began using the term "Christos," the Greek translation for Christ, to refer to Jesus. The letter chi in the Greek alphabet is symbolized by an X and translates to "ch." So along with the Greek letter rho for "r", the term Xmas was used to refer to the birth of Jesus as an informed abbreviation, not an offensive one. Xmas was a way for Christian scholars to refer to Jesus respectfully in an ancient language -- not to disrespect his name with a harsh symbol. In fact, variations of "Xmas"date back to 1021.

Source: http://christmas.howstuffworks.com/xmas.htm
<http://christmas.howstuffworks.com/xmas.htm>

A Blessed Nativity

"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which is translated, 'God with us.'"

-- Matthew 1:23

"Prepare O Bethlehem, for Eden has been opened for all!"
-- Orthodox Hymns in preparation for the Nativity

Have a merry humbug?

My good friends at the Freedom from Religion Foundation are at it again, further exacerbating our hyper-sensitive world here in Washington State, where having certain beliefs is apparently tantamount to a threat upon the livelihood of others.

I've previously blogged about their proselytizing billboard campaign. This time they have a "religionless" display at the Washington State capitol in Olympia, along with a Nativity scene, a Menorah, and an Xmas tree (apparently the Hindus, Muslims and Buddists et. al, are out of luck).

The lack of foresight that can't seem to recognize or understand the difference between a religious display like a Menorah and an atheist article that openly disparages religious belief astounds me. This FFRF display is nothing short of socially acceptable bigotry.

According to this article, the FFRF manifesto, er . . . vendetta, uh . . . I mean display (yeah, that's it) at the capitol turned up missing within a few hours of being put up. The FFRF quickly replaced it, along with plans to include the well-known religious directive, "thou shalt not steal." Seriously, FFRF? It's easy to imagine that the inclusion of this commandment (held as sacred by more than one major religion) was meant to further ridicule religious belief but you seem oblivious of the contradiction here. I thought the purpose of religion was to brainwash? Now you use it to your advantage, even in jest, when necessary?

I find the foundationally contradictory nature of your organization unfortunate (I would like to note that while I do not share in the belief, I accept atheism as a valid belief system). I find the increasing acceptance of the FFRF in our society at large to be a disturbing trend and, as it bodes for the future, more than a little scary.

Another worthwhile quote

"I have seen pride lead to humility. And I remembered him who said: Who hath known the mind of the Lord? The pit and offspring of conceit is a fall; but a fall is often an occasion of humility for those who are willing to use it to their advantage."

-– St. John Climacus

And another reason to cry, Glory to God for all things!

Sex sells

During this time of the year I am reminded of several things, not the least of which the rampant consumerism of our culture. Most have probably seen the recent story of a Wal-Mart worker in Long Island who was trampled to death by a horde of shoppers anxious to get their mitts on one of the limited number of flat screen televisions.

Here in Seattle we like our coffee. In addition to the chains like Starbucks and Tully's, we have small coffee stands in what seems like every other parking lot. The latest trend around Lynnwood seems to be the "soft-core porn" coffee-stand business model, with names like "Java Jugs" advertising baristas in lingerie and others stands announcing, "sexy barista babes."

I am not making this up.

Dostoevsky

the moment you make yourself sincerely responsible for everything and everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all and for all. -- Dostoevsky

I was reminded recently that in order to be convinced that evil exists in the world one only need commit themselves to obey the commandments of God, to pray, to be merciful, pure in heart, poor in spirit, peacemaking and love their enemies. When I attempt to humble myself before my brothers and sisters I need little convincing that evil is alive and well in the world both without, and even more disturbingly, very much alive and well within.

Danielson

My own idea on what it means to be a "Christian artist" has fluctuated over the years. An interesting entry into the discussion of this topic is found in the 2006 documentary, Danielson: A Family Movie, which chronicles the story of a family that started a band when the youngest member was 11, built a following in the independent music scene, toured worldwide in support of records produced by Steve Albini, and eventually were eclipsed in popularity by one of its backing instrumentalists (Sufjan Stevens). Most interesting to me about the Danielson famile is their music itself, which I can only attempt to describe as a joyfully abstract Vacation Bible School soundtrack.

The video for "Idiot Boksen" can be viewed below; I apologize that a portion of the right side of the video is cut off due to the formatting size of my blog.

Exclusive election day analysis

I have often wondered what the purpose is of putting down that thin tissue paper on the toilet before being seated. It seems to me to be rather noisy, uncomfortable and unnecessary. I have noticed the high frequency with which those in my particular office use the "Discreet Seat" tissue paper before what I would assume is either a bowel movement or a well-choreographed attempt to avoid work. Call me old fashioned, but I for one do not have any qualms about sitting my bare behind on a toilet seat with no other barrier, "Discreet Seat" or otherwise.

Studies show that a much larger percentage of germs are found on the average desk than the average toilet seat.*

*I do not have a citation for this particular claim, but I did read it somewhere.

St. John of Krondstadt

"Never confuse the person, formed in the image of God, with the evil that is in him; because evil is but a chance misfortune, an illness, a devilish reverie. But the very essence of the person is the image of God, and this remains in him despite every disfigurement."

-- St. John of Kronstadt

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, we recently commemorated the life of St. John of Kronstadt on October 19th. A friend forwarded this quote to me. It presents quite the challenge: to avoid demonizing those with whom we disagree or have hurt us deeply; to understand and withhold judgment of 'the other'; to see God in every person we encounter.

More on the life of St. John of Kronstadt can be read here.

Demons

My friend, I've been lying all my life. Even when I was telling the truth. I never spoke for the truth, but only for myself, I knew that before, but only now do I see . . . Oh where are those friends whom I have insulted with my friendship all my life? And everyone, everyone! You know, perhaps I'm lying now; certainly I'm also lying now. The worst of it is that I believe myself when I lie. The most difficult thing in life is to live and not lie . . . and . . . and not believe one's own lie, yes, yes, that's precisely it! (Dostoevsky, Demons).

In recent days I have been aware of my limitations and even worse, my willing ignorance of my limitations. I am quick to judge, self-centered, impatient and often moved to anger. I wonder if any thought of mine (or words written on a public blog) is not tainted by pride (and false humility). These are not conclusions drawn from a view of human nature as being totally depraved or of an angry God who cannot tolerate sin. Rather, it is born from a view of God as Love, and my willing choice to betray that Love, moment by moment, day by day, both consciously and unconsciously.

May God grant each of us the grace to turn, to repent from our sin and self-delusion and to embrace the cure for our self-inflicted illness; a cure that for most of us is not brought about in a single moment, but rather a lifetime (and more) lived in repentance.

Fr. Thomas Hopko

In recent months I have been avidly listening to the podcasts on Ancient Faith Radio of Fr. Thomas Hopko, Dean Emeritus of St. Vladimir's Orthodox Seminary. In some ways, Fr. Tom reminds me of one of my history professors in college, Don Claspill. When listening to them speak in a seemingly endless stream on a particular subject, one gets the sense that they could go on for quite some time and that it would be beneficial to let them do so.

Recently Fr. Tom has spoken on the subject of "Church and State" (a series in which the first post was on September 25th) which addresses and expands upon some of the recent questions I have posted on in regards to politics. "A Chrsitian Response to Terrorism" (September 12th) is an excellent discussion of good and evil (and a provacative one at that). "The Meaning of Life" (September 12th) is a good devotional introduction to Fr. Tom's style. Highly recommended (hopefully not as a distraction from the spiritual life, but as an aid toward its deepening).

Tell Tale Signs

For those who may or may not be interested, NPR is streaming Bob Dylan's new album, The Bootleg Series Vol. 8 - Tell Tale Signs: Rare and Unreleased 1989 - 2006, which will be released next Tuesday. As much as I like Dylan's trio of 60s albums Bringing It All Back Home, Highway 61 Revisited, and Blonde on Blonde, I enjoy his most recent work even more. Included in Vol. 8 of the Bootleg Series are outtakes and alternate versions of songs from his most recent albums, Oh Mercy, Love and Theft, Time Out of Mind (my personal favorite), and Modern Times.

I've grown that mustache once before. You better believe I'm going to grow it back again.

The Enlargement of the Heart

A quick quote -- one that is simple yet at the same time very difficult:

By shame we extinguish shame. That is why the sacrament of confession is so powerful and so regenerating. We bear a little shame on earth for the sake of the Lord, and He gives us such grace, so as to be able to overcome our sins and receive healing for our brokenness. Therefore, becasue He Himself, in His way down, bore the "cross of shame", the more shame we bear the better, the more grace we shall receive for our healing and for a glorious salvation . . . And so it is unavoidable for us, too, to bear a little shame, if we wish to follow Him. He bore shame for our salvation, the cross of shame, and when we share that shame for His sake, according to His commandment, and in order to reconcile ourselves to Him, He considers that a response of gratitude, and He measures out His gifts to us.

-- Archmandrite Zacharias, The Enlargement of the Heart

I am a poor example of bearing shame on a number of levels. I am nonetheless inspired and energized by quotes (and more importantly the lives from which they spring forth) such as these, which call me not to question difficulty in life, but to give thanks for it. Glory to God for all things.

Po-mo, Po' me

This person:

a) is in a photo shoot for Rolling Stone magainze with photographer Annie Leibovitz

b) has very likely spent too much time pondering his appearance in the mirror

c) is a Seattle Mariners fan

d) ate way too much curry last night

e) is an ultra-hip pomo Christian writer

I'm sure Donald Miller is a good guy but I can't help but give him a hard time for this picture.

Warning . . .

. . . the following quote contains some political "buzz words" (I hear there are some elections coming up soon). Part of my frustration with politics is its inability to deal with the ills of the human condition. Dostoevsky defines this as a great "blasphemy" against God:

"[this blasphemy is] denial not of God, but of the meaning of His creation. The whole of socialism emerged and began with the denial of the meaning of historical reality and went on to a program of destruction and anarchism . . . the scientific and philisophical refutation of the existence of God has already been abandoned, present-day practical socialists are not occupied with it at all, instead they deny with all their might God's creation, God's world, and its meaning. Here in this alone does modern civilization find its nonsense."*

As a Christian, I am forced to deal with the tension of my responsibility as a citizen and the realization that (in my opinion) no matter who I vote for, it involves a compromrise of my faith and casting a vote for, in the words of a friend, "the evils of two lessers" who willingly perpetuate the blasphemy Dostoevsky describes above.

This is not to say that political system is void of any value or that some temporal concerns are frivolous or even purely temporary. Certain moral issues facing this country are black and white. However, deciding which party to vote for, with their secular "answers" for eternal problems, is not.

Not only do I disagree with the means by which our political parties seek to fix societal ills, I am cynical of a political system that is BASED on disagreement with one another. From my viewpoint it is the political system itself, not the polarizing issues or the media (which Donald Miller and others have recently scapegoated as a reason for the current state of polarization in our country) which deserves the primary blame. How are we supposed to be "unified" when a president who wins the election "easily" with 60% of the popular vote still has millions of people who voted for the other candidate and disagree, even strongly with his/her position? I'm no genius but that doesn't sound like a recipe for unity.

*quote taken from the introduction written by Richard Pevear to the novel Demons by Fyodor Dostoevsky, translated by Pevear and Volokhonsky, pg xx.

I've seen a Carman concert in the round

You know you are feeling tired and/or possibly getting sick if you find yourself unable to move from the couch while watching a Carman concert on TBN.

Deep thoughts

I hate politics.

That is all.

Nothing to fear, nothing to doubt

Ten years ago, when I was still in college along with my good friends Paul and Jake, we decided to drive from Redding, CA to Salem, OR to try to get seats to a sold-out Radiohead show during the tour in support of their album, OK Computer. To try to ensure that we were able to get tickets, we arrived at the Salem Armory quite early in the afternoon, so early that no one else had yet arrived for the evening show. We could hear the band rehearsing inside the venue, and of course we wished that somehow we could be a fly on the wall inside, listening unnoticed to one of the world's biggest bands rehearse. I don't remember how it happened, but one of us must have pulled on the door out of joking desperation, fully expecting it to be locked. We were surprised and shocked to find the door was in fact unlocked. Like giggling school-girls, the three of us immediately walked in without a moment's hesitation.

What we found was Thom Yorke playing a song by himself on acoustic guitar and several roadies playing Frisbee in front of the stage. An odd sight to say the least. An errant toss landed at our feet and a short man with spiky blond hair retrieved the Frisbee from us (it turns out this was not a roadie but the drummer for the opening act, Spiritualized). The expressions on our faces must have made us look obviously out of place, because after a few minutes a woman security guard in her mid-40s promptly ejected us from our pre-concert performance fantasy.

Now, ten years on, I went to see Radiohead again this past week with my wife Olivia (she likes Radiohead quite a bit). I didn't really know what to expect for the show since I really haven't been too big a fan of the band's most recent records, apart from their latest, In Rainbows. The show however, was nothing short of spectacular. The band was locked in and having a good time. Thom Yorke seemed to be comfortable in his skin, which if you are familiar with some of the lyrics he writes, may come as a bit of a surprise (I know it was to me). I felt that the newer, more ambient and electronic songs translated surprisingly well live, with many of the arrangements expanded to include an organic element which I deemed missing from the recorded versions.

Oddly enough, the band screwed up badly enough at both shows that they needed to stop a song and completely start it over; "The Bends" at the show in Salem and "Faust Arp" (they actually had to restart the song twice) in Seattle. The video gives a good feeling of the general mood of the band. In between the screw-ups Johnny Greenwood and Thom Yorke do an impromptu cover of Neil Young's "Tell Me Why" and drummer Phil Selway leaves a tip.

Imagine No Religion

I was greeted by this billboard earlier today after being bused into downtown Seattle from the 'burbs. At the risk of sounding reactionary, I was quite taken aback by the sight. My first thought was that in a country founded in part on the freedom of religion it was ironic that I would see an advertisement for a foundation that proclaims freedom from religion (is it just me or is freedom from religion not an inherent option within freedom of religion?).

The Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF) website states that their purpose is to act as a "watchdog" for the separation of Church and State. A lifetime member of the FFRF is quoted as saying that the billboards intention is not to question any specific religion or faith but to proclaim that society can only reach its full potential through the scientific method. I would beg to differ. I infer from his words that religion (okay, not a specific religion, but religion in general? All religion?) gets in the way of progress. The FFRF website proclaims that

The history of Western civilization shows us that most social and moral progress has been brought about by persons free from religion.

Like Hitler and Stalin? Is this statement not an overt claim concerning the negativity of religion, that on a foundational level religion is mutually exclusive with what the FFRF deems as "progress"? Is the implied eradication of religion a means to this end ("progress")? Are the members of FFRF feeling threatened by the free choice of others to practice their respective religion?

I would imagine such a protest against religion is best seen in the context as a reaction against religious fundamentalism. A friend of mine has posted on this topic recently here. I can't help but wonder if the FFRF is unwittingly fostering its own brand of fundamentalism?

Perhaps this posting is an overreaction? Should I view such an organization as lending itself to the promotion of atheism and agnosticism as a viable worldview and nothing more? If the FFRF were simply promoting their worldview as viable, it would in no way threaten my own personal beliefs or even my choice to have a belief. What bothers me is not the overt language of promotion but the overt and implied disparagement of religious belief. Does this message not run counter to the "freethought" claim of the FFRF?

If the past 100 years of human history has taught us anything, it is that fascism can have an ugly, dangerous and conservative face bent toward evil masquerading in the name of "progress." I fear the direction in which our society is currently headed, our evil clown bent on progress at all costs has changed masks and tactics; he has traded in his conservative mask for a liberal one. The end result of "progress" remains but the means by which to achieve that end has changed.

I always wanted a pantry

Perhaps it is because in our current apartment the kitchen is incredibly tiny. Whatever the reason, as of Wednesday afternoon, Olivia and I will have to wait no longer; we will become the proud owners of a condo twenty minutes north of Seattle in Lynnwood.

It is a condo that looks like any other number of condos. Nevertheless, it will be our own condo and that is exciting. It also includes a pantry.

Priusville

Er . . . I mean Seattle.

My Hollywood Weekend Pt 2

While visiting my brother a few weeks back, we had a good conversation with one of his friends about Christianity and the spiritual life. This particular friend of his had been raised in the South and reared on Protestant Christianity. Both of his parents and were pastors and his family traveled around the nation together as a ministry. Now, he is married with a little girl (and a second on the way) and runs his own recording studio, which makes it difficult for him to attend church with any regularity.

As he was discussing his situation he made a statement (I'm paraphrasing from memory) that stuck in my mind: I look at my recording studio as a ministry that I have in which I can love other people. Does God really care if I go to church or not? I don't think so. What He cares about is that I love other people wherever I'm at and whatever situation I'm in.

To be sure, there's a lot that I can agree with in this statement. Nevertheless, I find it interesting that in this statement there is a dichotomy between loving others and attending church. In a sense, you could interpret my friend as saying that it is not necessary to attend church in order to better love others. Is it safe then to infer that attending church may make it more difficult to love others as well? Does that make any sense?

At any rate, I am genuinely interested in what any readers of this blog have to say about this subject (if you're interested). What do you think about this dichotomy? If it exists, how can it be resolved? What does it mean to truly love another?

Seattle gay-census underway

With yesterday being the beautiful day that it was, I decided to take a walk on my lunch break about six blocks to Irwin's to purchase a delicious iced coffee beverage. On the way there I called my wife to see how her day was going, but was interrupted when a truck that had approached me from behind (no pun intended) stopped a few feet after it had passed me on a fairly busy two-lane road. The driver yelled out to me, "Hey, are you gay?" I was startled but quickly replied, "Yes." The driver then pumped his fist in the air and yelled "Yessssss!" before speeding off. Okay.

So, if you happen to be in Seattle this weekend, be aware that two young males in a black Toyota truck are apparently conducting their own grassroots gay-census.

The long and gray winter months can be a bit too much to stomach in Seattle. The water that surrounds the city reflects what is above it, usually low and gray cloud cover which can have a claustrophobic effect as the months wear on. Seattle in the winter and spring can be a dreary place to be. However, it is weather from weeks like this past one (and hopefully continued in the forecast for the weekend) that remind me why I live in this city and in this climate. There is something spectacular about the plentiful green trees in this region backdropped by a brilliant blue sky and equally brilliant blue water which is surrounded by majestic mountains to both the east and the west.

Driving back home from Minnesota a few years ago on I-90 I took in a lot of beauty along the way. The badlands in Wyoming and South Dakota, the mountains in Montana. Still, my biased eyes felt the views were increasingly spectacular the further I headed west.

The weather/climate I experienced while living in Minnestoa was extreme: frigid winters and hot and humid summers. This was quite a change from the mild NW climate that I was accustomed to. In some ways this change in climate mirrored the life I lived in Minnesota: it was an extreme time in many ways.

Upon my return to Seattle I found that I needed to adjust to the mildness of life again -- both literally and figuratively. Not only had I grown used to a more extreme climate, on a foundational level, I had also grown used to instability on both a spiritual and relational level. Now, some of what I learned and experienced through this instability was good, but some if it was also bad.

In my upside down world a return to stability at that time seemed . . . too safe. Perhaps even dishonest. Life is complicated and hard, right? In that context, admitting there might be "answers" to my questions about God, life and other people made me uncomfortable with myself. If there were "answers" to my questions on some level, than that required that I change and reorient myself again.

Looking back now, I feel that I craved stability even if I feared it at the same time. I had equated stability with a static life that contained no growth or change. Of course, that is a potential pitfall. Still, I pray that I am growing and learning each day and continuting to hold the paradox of what I know and believe along with the infintely more that is beyond my human comprehension.

And hey, it's supposed to be in the 90s this weekend in mild 'ol Seattle. I guess even stability can have some variety perks (I apologize for the cheesy weather tie-in at the end).

My Hollywood Weekend

A few weeks back I left the dreary, hipster-loving and cynical enclave I like to call Seattle to visit my brother Bryan in West Hollywood. For a weekend, I lived the "L.A. lifestyle." We spent quite a bit of time in a recording studio tracking for a song that is going to be pitched to Keith Urban, we went out to eat for every meal, I listened to a guy my brother works with/for talk about writing a song for Lionel Ritchie's next record (he referred to him as "Lionel"), we watched an all-white reggae band with a lead singer who took his shirt off to reveal a massive Star of David necklace at the Whiskey A Go Go, and bumped into B.J. Novak. You know, the usual.

My brother is one of those people who doesn't seem too concerned with living life by the unspoken "rules." He says he's going to do something semi-ridiculous (at least to a "realist" like me) and then he usually does it. By the end of the weekend I felt like saying, You know, at 29 you aren't supposed to be an Executive VP of a company (Neoganda -- he's explained to me what they do but I still don't get it) and have a loft in the Hollywood Hills facing the Hollywood sign. Maybe he makes a ton of money or is in debt up to his eyeballs. Probably both. Nevertheless, I find his inner-drive inspiring and I'm proud of him.

One morning my brother woke me up and pointed down to the valley below. From my vantage point on the floor next to his bed I could see a massive plume of smoke rising from the giant Universal Studios complex. With a smile my brother said, "there's a fire at Universal Studios." I don't know if it was that I wasn't fully awake or the way that my brother said it, but I dismissed the fire as a film shoot for a movie, rolled over and went back to sleep. My brother woke me up again an hour later and showed me the current front-page story at CNN.com of the fire, which apparently was not the result of a film shoot but an out of control fire that was engulfing Universal Studios. The picture on the front page looked like it could have been taken from my brother's deck. Weird.

Another fun part of the trip for me was visiting the virtual vinyl-wonderland of Amoeba Records. The place is massive and disorienting but also includes the largest collection of new vinyl records that I have ever seen. It gave me the opportunity to get started on my annual Top 08 of 08, which I had begun to fear would be incomplete as we are now almost half-way through the year and I had not yet found any new music that had struck my fancy enough for me to recommend it to others. That all changed at Amoeba Records as I purchased Bonnie "Prince" Billy's latest, Lie Down in the Light. Stay tuned at the end of the year for a review if you wish.

To wet your appetite, I will close with a video parodying Kanye West's song, "Can't Tell Me Nothing" in which Bonnie "Prince" Billy participated (he's the skinny guy in the video). If you are familiar with his music, it makes a funny video that much funnier.

Christian-Muslim relations

One issue that I haven't seen (which isn't saying much since I am embarrassingly ignorant of current events) addressed in the mainstream media is the effect that the war in Iraq has on the Christians of that region. I recently listened to a podcast (posted on April 25th) that speaks to this potentially volatile subject and seems to deal with it in a mature fashion that avoids demonization.

I have a friend who has addressed the issue of engagement with those who are regularly outside the boundaries of our daily comfortable existence, particularly in areas partially related to this issue. This podcast offers several concrete examples of what such an incarnational engagement might "look like" which I found to be helpful.

Surprised by Christ

Our very own parish priest recently had his life memoir published. After hearing excerpts read to us during our catechism, I am looking forward to reading the book.

Fr. James has lived a full life; he was raised in Orthodox Judaism in Queens by parents who had their faith undermined by the Holocaust, converted to Christianity only to be disowned by his parents (they held a living funeral for him), helped found Jews for Jesus, moved to Berkeley where he was one of the "Jesus People" in every sense of the word (check out the book's pictures!) before his immersion in Scripture and Church history led him to Orthodox Christianity.

The book is available from Conciliar Press and Amazon.

"Surprised by Christ is an autobiography, an intellectual history, and a conversion story, and more than these, conveys a spiritual and theological vision in a message that touches people from many different backgrounds. That vision is of the Living God revealed in Jesus Christ, who is the fulfillment of the Old Covenant, the life of the Faithful, the hope of the despairing, and the motivation for those who strive to preach the Gospel in all its integrity."

-- Hieromonk Jonah, Abbot of St. John of San Francisco Monastery in Manton, California (from the foreword to the book)

The Art of Protest

Sometimes I wonder if we live in a country full of protesters. Every time I turn around it seems like someone is protesting something and maybe it's getting a bit out of hand. Some make protests for the environment. Some protest against gay people. Some others protest against the war in Iraq. When the Dalai Lama came to Seattle a few weeks ago, people decided to protest against him. Some people even protest Starbucks. I think that entire religious movements in this country could be understood in the context of protest.

This is not to say that I am opposed to everything that could be perceived as a "protest." A lot of godly work is done to help the poor and those who are marginalized in our society. St. James writes that pure and faultless religion is taking care of orphans and widows in their distress. One of my favorite descriptions of Christianity is by G.K. Chesterton, who described it as "a rebellion against rebellion."

In my own life, I have wondered how pure my motives often are when it comes to activities that could be considered a protest. I wonder if even my "selfless acts" are nothing more than a deceptive way to exert my own ego. It makes me feel good to help someone else in need. Furthermore, I have wondered if in reality I am truly protesting against who/what I think I am? Perhaps when I hand out sandwiches to the homeless in reality I am protesting against what I perceive to be the absence of God?

On a slightly lighter note, I ran across two videos, one from the writers of the Daily Show and the other from the Daily Show itself, that illustrate in part what I'm saying. The first is a sort of parody of protests and the second is an example of one of the most ridiculous protests I have ever seen.

Keep your eyes peeled

This past Saturday was a typical gray, spring Seattle day; Olivia had a baby shower to go to and so I had some free time on my hands. After working exclusively from home the last two weeks (normally I work from the office twice a week), I knew that I needed to get out of the house. So, I did a few chores around the house and then headed out on the town. I got some coffee, went to a few record stores and looked around. While driving between my stops I listened to the Mariners game on the radio.

I don't know if I had the "blahs" or what, but between the gray day outside and another Mariners defeat, I found myself sitting in my car in the Golden Oldies parking lot, listening to AM radio and vacantly looking outside at the world around me. At this point, I happened to look out across 45th and catch the sight of what appeared to be a squadron of Stormtroopers.

Now, of all the sights that I might have expected or even anticipated to see on this day, Stormtroopers would be pretty low on my list. For a fraction of a second, my mind snapped out of its doldrums and raced with various questions. Is there a movie being shot? Did I somehow happen into an alternate dimension? Are we under attack? Has it been discovered that I am indeed a Jedi? My dreams vanished fairly quickly when it dawned on me that the Stormtroopers were assembled outside of a Comic book store, waving as the many passersby honked at the spectacle.

Someone in movies once said that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. I would have to agree with him. Keep your eyes peeled.

Snow

Request to the local Seattle media: when there is a forecast for snow or if it does indeed snow an entire inch or so (perish the thought), could you please not report the event as if the fifth horseman of the apocalypse has arrived? Please? I'm sure it is ratings driven but the fear-mongering is getting out of hand.

You've been Rick-rolled

In our cynical and apathetic world, it is rare when true beauty breaks through the weathered and worn cracks of our banal existence. True beauty brings a welcome shower that quenches our thirst and cleanses us from the dirt on our hands. The world looks different to us in light of this beauty. Instead of walking through life staring at our shoes, we have a new spring in our step. Instead of being bent over under our heavy labor, we are able to stand tall, come what may. The sun seems to be shining that much brighter. The birds are chirping. Even the dirt on which we stand is a miracle!

We live life expecting so much and hoping for so little. Having a glimpse of true beauty changes all that. May we all be changed.

The means never justifies the end

"You have gone far wrong. Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. What you now call the free play of inquiry has neither more nor less to do with which the ends of intelligence was given you than masturbation has to do with marriage."
--C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

Growing up, there was a parsonage next door to the church where my Dad was pastor. In front of this parsonage was a wooden staircase leading up to a second-story entrance to the home. One day my brother and I, in a fit of pre-teen mischievousness, thought it would be fun to peel back some of the shingles that we could reach on the parsonage roof from that second-story entrance and fling them as far as we could into the parking lot below.

As I reflected on this memory, the immediate question I had was, "What were we thinking!?" We knew what we were doing was a) wrong and b) would get us into trouble shortly. Yet, we still did it and thought it was pretty fun as well. I can only speculate now what our immature motivations were at the time but undoubtedly the thrill of doing something risque factored into our behavior. In our clouded minds it felt good on some level to peel back the shingles and see how far we could throw it. We were also at the age where we were trying to push at established boundaries to see what we could get away with. Would we really get into trouble?

I have made these evaluations of the pre-teen me from a distance, looking back at my childhood memory with disapproval and disdain. Obviously I've come a long way since then. But have I? Sometimes I wonder how much I have really grown up, if at all. Maybe I just do a better job of hiding my true motivations now. How often I am faced with a decision or situation that requires personal effort on my part (helping my wife when I'm tired, the list goes on and on), and knowing how I should respond (yes! objectively knowing!) I instead passively choose what is easy and comfortable for me (usually to my own detriment I might add).

I read the above quote (passed on to me from a friend who had said it had haunted him for years) in a similar context. "Questions" are certainly a buzz word in Chrisitianity these days. Questions are good in the sense that they are a means to an end. However, as Lewis points out, questions lose their value when they become an end in and of themselves. "Questions" can easily spiral beyond their useful purpose and instead become feelble and immature attempts to justify myself before God. Questions should not be asked if one has no intention of finding an answer. Instead they become a convenient excuse for my own laziness or indecision and I use the same naive rationalization process I used to justify tearing perfectly good shingles off a roof and throwing them down to the ground.

A wonderful first week of baseball.

Great Lent

A little over two weeks ago Great Lent began in the Orthodox Church. Last year we celebrated Easter (or Pascha, Greek for Passover) on the same day as Western Christianity but this year we are several weeks later (April 27th), as the day is reckoned differently.

The week prior to Lent I had the opportunity to listen to a lecture by His Eminence, Metropolitan Kallistos Ware, perhaps the most well known Orthodox teacher and scholar in the world today. The lecture took place at St. Demetrios Greek Orthodox Chuch in the Montlake neighborhood of Seattle following Vespers. As far as I know, his lecture on Lent and the meaning of fasting was not recorded, but another recent interview concerning the sacramental life can be listened to here (posted on March 7th), some of which was repeated in the lecture that I attended. If nothing else, the interview is worth listening to since His Eminence sounds as if he is hosting Masterpiece Theater. All kidding aside, the interview is beneficial and well worth listening to, even if one is not Orthodox.


The beginning of Lent is inaugurated by Forgiveness Vespers. As the title of the service suggests, every member of the parish quite literally asks everyone else present at the service, one by one, for forgiveness. All of this takes place simultaneously in a sort of forgiveness conga-line around the perimeter of the nave. As simple and straightforward as the service may sound, I have found it to be one of the most memorable and profound that I have ever attended. As each person humbles themselves before the other, something quite special and unusual (or is it natural?) happens that defies description. While the service certainly has penitential aspects, because of the restoration that ultimately takes place during the 45 minutes or so of the forgiveness-fest, our nave was filled with the sounds of joyful tears. Lent is often described by the Orthodox as a "bright sadness" and Forgiveness Vespers is one such example.

During the first week of Great Lent, the canon of St. Andrew of Crete, which dates to the 7th century, is read in its entirety over 3 separate services (it is also read in its entirety on the Wednesday of the 5th week of Lent). The service is notable for its many troparia (hymns of one stanza each) followed by the refrain, "Have mercy on me O God, have mercy on me" which in turn is followed by a full prostration.

It is clear from reading the Canon of St. Andrew that he took his own sin quite seriously. This is something that I have found to be true of the larger Orthodox Church. It is my understanding that this attitude of repentance for sin is not based primarily on personal guilt or fear of an angry God that seeks to be appeased or levy judgment because He cannot tolerate sin. Quite simply, sin is taken seriously because love is taken seriously. Sin obscures love. Unchecked selfishness trumps self-sacrifice. Sin is not a consequence of original guilt, it is a self-inflicted wound. The inevitable death that results from sin is a natural consequence of our willing choice. God in His mercy does not desire our groveling or self-flagellation. But he does desire that we repent of our sin and instead turn and reorient ourselves to life that he originally intended. Following is an excerpt from Canticle Two of the Lenten Triodion, translated by Metropolitan Ware and Mother Mary:

I am surrounded by the storm of sin O Compassionate Lord. But stretch out Thine hand to me, as Thou has to Peter.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I offer to Thee, O merciful Lord, the tears of the harlot. Take pity on me O Savior, in Thy compassion.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

With the lusts of passion I have darkened the beauty of my soul and turned my mind entirely into dust.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I have torn the first garment that the Creator wove for me in the beginning, and now I lie naked.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I have clothed myself in the torn coat that the serpent wove for me by his counsel, and I am ashamed.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I looked upon the beauty of the tree and my mind was deceived; and now I lie naked and ashamed.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

All the ruling passions have plowed upon my back, making long furrows of wickedness.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I have lost the beauty and glory with which I was first created; and now I lie naked and ashamed.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

Sin has stripped me of the robe that God once wove for me, and it has sowed for me garments of sin.

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

I am clothed with the raiment of shame as with fig leaves, in condemnation of my self-willed passions.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

Saturday Night's Alright for Blogging

Especially when it concerns my beloved Seattle Mariners. The new season opens on the 31st and I will be in attendance at Safeco Field for the opening pitch from Erik Bedard. This past off season was marked by controversy, as the M's traded their mostly highly touted "prospect" and 4 other players for Bedard. The trade threw the highly developed and critical Mariners blogosphere into a cataclysmic tizzy, with the anti-trade camp raving that the M's, being a team that isn't that good and needs to rebuild, gave up far too much for a pitcher with a sketchy health record and only two years guaranteed left on his contract. The pro-trade camp countered that Bedard is the top of the rotation starter that M's have been missing and his presence will close the gap between Seattle and the winners of the division title in 2007, the Los Angeles Angels. Since I am a nerd, I spent far too much time this winter lurking in various blogs following the debate in all of its nauseating detail, of which I will spare you any further punishment. Here's to the new season.

Forgive my cynicism . . .

. . . but this magazine cover has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have seen in quite some time. Undoubtedly, part of the problem is that I openly detest politics. And I'm sure Obama is a great guy and could offer our country a change. Nevertheless, I find this self-righteousness (at least one could interpret this cover shot as such) and naive optimism disgusting/amusing.

My best Bozo days lie ahead.

You know you are going bald when you feel the need to give yourself a haircut every two weeks to hide your ever-thinning hair.

I first became concerned about my hair loss about six years ago when I noticed a small little bald patch just behind my hairline. At this point I was very much in the stage of denial. I rationalized that I had cut my hair a little shorter than normal. Or perhaps the guard of the razor had come loose as I cut that portion of my hair. How else could there be such a little patch with a little less hair on it? What an odd place for such a patch!

My next phase was anger. After my intial reaction of denial, I noticed small pieces of hair in my hands after I washed them. When I woke up I saw tiny little hair folicles left behind on my pillow. At this stage of my life I was trying to hold on to any dignity that I could get. I burned with anger that my hairline was literally slipping through my fingers.

Today I am ready to concede that I am losing my hair. I have processed the residual denial and anger from my own personal hairline journey and I have accepted that I am a 30 year old balding man. I refuse to live in a fantasy world that denies this simple fact. I have seen pictures that dispel any notion I would have of an alternate reality. Avoidance of this reality would be nothing short of a foundational conflict in my being.

I am resolute in my acceptence. I am finally ready to grow up.

I have nothing to fear knowing that my best Bozo days lie ahead.

"Beauty Will Save the World"

It is through the virtue of humility that we attain spiritual gifts. Humility is the acknowledgment that God has saved us, forgiven us and desires that we should do the same. God does not force us to do so, we must be willing. If we are not willing to be humble, the world will humiliate us. The humble person cannot be humiliated, for humiliation is nothing but a blow to our pride. The one who has no pride escapes such suffering. Your Father in Christ, + Bishop JOSEPH

I read the quote above earlier today and it reminded me of the discussion that a few of my friends and I have been having on the blog under this post 'growing innocence' in regards to humility.

Let me be clear that I am not writing from the perspective of an expert in regards to humility. In fact, it seems to tear against some of the very foundational elements of my being. Still, even in my limited life experience, there is also a deep part of me which is drawn to be a learner of this virtue.

This subject has been on my mind quite a bit lately, in part because I recently (finally) finished The Idiot (once I got back on the 26 -- sorry, inside joke). Long story short: the novel centers upon the events surrounding the main character, Prince Myshkin, and his collision with Russian upper-class society.

The novel was a difficult read. I literally had to force myself through several passages. Dostoevsky himself considered the novel something of an artistic failure. Nevertheless, his concept behind the story was high,

"For a long time now I've been tormented by a certain idea, but I've been afraid

to make a novel out of it, because the thought is too difficult and I'm not

ready for it, though it's a thoroughly tempting thought and I love it. The idea
is - to portray a perfectly beautiful man. Nothing, in my opinion, can be more

difficult than that, especially in our time" (Dostoevsky, quoted in the

introduction to The Idiot, translated by Richard Pevear and Larissa
Volokhonsky).

Prince Myshkin himself asserts in the novel that "beauty will save the world." The Prince is not making an egotistical statement. Rather, he has a radical humility that seems to border on naivety: the Prince seems incapable of seeing obvious flaws in others (indeed, he sees God in each person) and repeatedly apologizes for his own behavior, even when it is clear he is not to be blamed or faulted. From the perspective of the reader this attitude seems at best simplistic, and at worst, just plain stupid in a society that conspires against him.

I have wondered, is humility supposed to "make sense" to us? In what way should it "make sense?" Humility, isolated in a temporal and external perspective, might look like foolishness to some, as it did to Prince Myshkin's contemporaries in mid 19th-century Russia.

In discussing the subject of humility with different friends, they have made welcome clarifications between humility and false humility in certain circumstances. Still, I wonder how the unseen reality of eternity might factor into this discussion? If nothing else, it gives us pause to consider that our temporal existence may not be an end in and of itself. Ultimately, I believe humility breaks through the plane of our temporal existence (not worthless or without value, but finite and limited nonetheless) with an infusion of eternity. This is an abstract concept that is difficult to objectify.

Perhaps an answer of sorts can be found in another of Dostoevsky's novels, The Brothers Karamavov, and artist Fritz Eichenberg, whose engravings I have admired for their visceral embodiment of melancholic emotion. One of the engravings that I am most drawn to is Eichenberg's depiction of the famous scene in The Brothers Karamazov, "The Grand Inquisitor." In the scene, Christ reappears on earth during the time of the Spanish Inquisition. He is arrested, sentenced to death and brought before the Grand Inquisitor for questioning. The Grand Inquisitor's argument against Christ is long, detailed and quite convincing.

Both the argument postulated by the Inquisitor and the specific outcome of this story is quite profound but it does not concern the subject of this posting (you can read it yourself if you haven't already). Suffice it to say that perhaps the Inquisitor succeeds in building an effective argument against Christ. However, at what cost? At the end of the story he is left alone with his bitterness and despair, willingly shut-off from the comfort of Christ's presence.

Perhaps this is a gross oversimplification, but I wonder if there is parallel that can be drawn between my own lack of humility, no matter how justified it may seem, and that of Dostoevsky's Inquisitor? I wonder if in the trusting humility of Prince Myshkin, he looks to eternity and finds the abiding presence of Christ, sharing with him in his sufferings?

The life led by Prince Myshkin may be better understood in light of the Grand Inquisitor. Perhaps we live our lives traveling somewhere between these two polar opposites found in literature, never fully acheiving the beautified perfection that Dostoevsky sought to depict in Prince Myshkin or becoming fully enveloped in the isolated bitterness of the Grand Inquisitor.

Of course, humility is not a guarantee that I will avoid suffering. Neither is it a guarantee that I will always feel God's presence. At times He may feel absent or even silent. Still, I feel the longing and desire to pray that the wisdom of eternity may be found in my heart.

Top 07 of 07

For a few years now I have made a practice of listing my favorite records of the past year. The list is ridiculously limited as it represents the majority of the new music that I have bought in the past year as well as being disturbingly indulgent of my wannabe rock critic/musician altar ego. What the world needs now is not another play list. If that introduction does not dissuade you from reading further (it has almost caused me to stop writing), I'm not sure what will. So, without further ado I present the Top 07 of 07 in no particular order.

Spoon, Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
This album presents some really accessible and catchy rock n' roll without sacrificing the more abstract/experimental tunes the band is becoming increasingly known for. I'm not sure how "The Underdog" did in radio airplay, but it should have been a hit. And it was on the play list of the reception of my wedding, which surely counts for something.






Panda Bear, Person Pitch
I recently heard a quote in which a famous actor said of different directors, "the good ones borrow but the great ones steal." If that statement is true than Panda Bear is a genius. It would probably take a genius to make an homage to or emulate Brian Wilson all by oneself and Noah Lennox of Animal Collective pulls it off on Person Pitch. "Comfy in Nautica" and "Bros" are the standout tracks. Come to think of it, album closer "Ponytail" was also on the reception play list.




The White Stripes, Icky Thump

In what has been described as a return to the basics, Jack and Meg turn the collective amp back up to 11. "Rag and Bone" is a great tune and "A Martyr for my Love for You" is the song Soren Kierkegaard never got to sing. No, "St. Andrew (The Battle is in the Air)" was not on the reception play list.






James Blackshaw, The Cloud of Unknowing
An album of instrumental acoustic guitar music named after a classic book on Christian mysticism in the 14 century by an anonymous English monk. The contemplative music builds through slow repetition until the slightest change in chord structure carries maximum impact. I guess it's similar to techno in that way only with an acoustic 12-string guitar.






Arcade Fire, Neon Bible
I must admit, the more I listen to this album the more I dislike it. Maybe it's because of the cynical and idiotic things that Win Butler keeps saying. Maybe it's because of the underlying paranoia in the music. Whatever the reason, what I do enjoy about Neon Bible is that it is the sound of a band that is not afraid of or opposed to making a statement through big tunes, and even amongst the cynicism and paranoia, I can respect that.





The National, Boxer
The National write introspective mellow tunes that are deceptively anthemic. Because of Matt Beringer's deep baritone, Leonard Cohen comparisons are apt, but the musical influence here is much more 80s New Wave than kitsch Euro-pop. Matt Beringer also sings like a man who has his mouth full and is wary of opening his mouth too far for the fear of spraying food everywhere.





Radiohead, In Rainbows
Two things stand out to me about this album, a) Radiohead sounds like a band again, and b) Thom Yorke has a beautiful and otherworldly voice. "Reckoner" is one of the best songs this band has ever written. Simple guitar and piano hooks, a tight rhythm section and a falsetto sung in a way that only Yorke can sing it. As I said in another blog advising potential crooner's: don't attempt to sing/sound like this band, because you can't.





My apologies for the wacky formatting.

growing innocence

We all experience difficulty in life. While much of it is self-inflicted pain caused by our own selfishness, we also all experience pain that is caused by circumstances that are beyond are control.

When I named this blog "growing innocence" a year a go, I wanted to try to encapsulate in that title an attribute that I found in people that I admire. These are people who, when faced with difficult circumstances, have not responded with an increase in vengeance or anger, but an increase in humility and love. They have undoubtedly made their share of mistakes and taken their own lumps in life, but have emerged from their own difficult road with a purity of heart when anger or resentment could have seemed a valid response. As a result, they seem more full of love and life then ever before. They seem to"grow innocence" rather than "grow bitterness."

When I respond in anger to a perceived wrong against me, this anger often seems right and even justified in the moment. Hey, if I don't defend myself here, who else will, right? However, this attitude, acted upon and carried out over and over through our lives filled with their share of pain, often leads not to increased personal validation, but increased isolation, bitterness and resentment. In defending myself or fighting for my own perceived rights I am aware only of my pain in the midst of my hardship and as a result, I lose hope. I damage my true personhood.

What then, is my true personhood? I believe that responding to hardship by an increase in humility and love contains part of the answer. In the moment of pain these attributes seem anything but natural or logical to me. But what of the purity of heart that results from these attributes, acted out over and over in a life overwhelmed at times by pain? It is a true purity. Natural. Logical. And from watching those I admire it is clear to me that in love and humility we embrace our true personhood enveloped in the Person of Christ.

Two different couples have set a wonderful example to me of "growing innocence." My godparents at St. Paul Orthodox Church, Bob and Mary Armstrong and my Aunt and Uncle, Donna and Lloyd Slusser from Pullman, Washington. In their lives I have witnessed a deep reality of love and self-sacrifice and I am thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my life.