We all experience difficulty in life. While much of it is self-inflicted pain caused by our own selfishness, we also all experience pain that is caused by circumstances that are beyond are control.
When I named this blog "growing innocence" a year a go, I wanted to try to encapsulate in that title an attribute that I found in people that I admire. These are people who, when faced with difficult circumstances, have not responded with an increase in vengeance or anger, but an increase in humility and love. They have undoubtedly made their share of mistakes and taken their own lumps in life, but have emerged from their own difficult road with a purity of heart when anger or resentment could have seemed a valid response. As a result, they seem more full of love and life then ever before. They seem to"grow innocence" rather than "grow bitterness."
When I respond in anger to a perceived wrong against me, this anger often seems right and even justified in the moment. Hey, if I don't defend myself here, who else will, right? However, this attitude, acted upon and carried out over and over through our lives filled with their share of pain, often leads not to increased personal validation, but increased isolation, bitterness and resentment. In defending myself or fighting for my own perceived rights I am aware only of my pain in the midst of my hardship and as a result, I lose hope. I damage my true personhood.
What then, is my true personhood? I believe that responding to hardship by an increase in humility and love contains part of the answer. In the moment of pain these attributes seem anything but natural or logical to me. But what of the purity of heart that results from these attributes, acted out over and over in a life overwhelmed at times by pain? It is a true purity. Natural. Logical. And from watching those I admire it is clear to me that in love and humility we embrace our true personhood enveloped in the Person of Christ.
Two different couples have set a wonderful example to me of "growing innocence." My godparents at St. Paul Orthodox Church, Bob and Mary Armstrong and my Aunt and Uncle, Donna and Lloyd Slusser from Pullman, Washington. In their lives I have witnessed a deep reality of love and self-sacrifice and I am thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my life.
13 comments:
I did not grow any innocence when dealing with a flat-tire that somehow ate up 5 hours of my day today.
Don't be discouraged; you still have three tires left for more practice.
j.b., I really enjoy this post. You articulate well this deep way of living in response to pain and suffering, in a manner the brings about purity of heart. I love it. In many ways I resonate with it personally.
However, I am wondering intently how this relates to the struggle of others. I am thinking of those, unlike you and I, who don't even have the security of seeing their basic, lower level needs met.
Think of Maslov's hierarchy, I am talking about people on the 1st and 2nd bottom tiers, with needs like air, water, food, housing, stable income, health, education etc.
If we accept the way of dealing with injustice as you suggest it, in our own lives, naturally don't we, by default, expect others to do the same?
But that is where I get stuck.
Who are we to tell them, from our refined, educated position in society, that they should embrace their poverty? That the reward for not fighting for an education for their kids, or the compensation for not providing food for their family is purity of heart.
I can't do that.
I see where this works for me, in my North American culture, in my economic demographic, but I don't understand how it would work for so many others.
Hi Jake, thanks for the dialogue. There's a lot to what you wrote, let me do my best to address it.
First, I think we're speaking about two different but nonetheless related subjects. My post was about cultivating an attitude of inner humility and joy in the face of difficult circumstances. You seem to suggest that this attitude might prevent someone in different circumstances from attaining the basics needed for survival and raising a healthy family.
I don't see the correlation. I am not insinuating that if someone is in need and has no food to eat that they should attempt to morbidly "embrace" their suffering by starving themselves to death. Neither am I fatalistically suggesting that someone with resources to help should let other people suffer for a "greater good." If a family is in need they should seek out help and charity. Hopefully help would find them first in a charitable act. In either case, humility may be required in such a circumstance to be able to offer/ask for help. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I just don't see any connection between your specific concern and my topic.
Where I do see some overlap is in the manner in which we are to respond to suffering in general, whether we are rich, poor, skinny, bald or fat. I believe that this in turn has large implications for the way in which we view God.
You asked how me how we, in our educated society (read: enlightened) could ever tell someone stricken by poverty to embrace their suffering for the sake of "purity of heart." Fair enough. Let me turn that question around. By what right am I able to question why someone is born into poverty in the first place? Or born into wealth? Did I establish this world in which they were born? Did I form them in their mothers womb? Unless I did, I am very much questioning MY right to attempt to fathom and ask such questions while making speculative judgements based on my conlusions.
I believe cultivating such an attitude that questions God eventually ejects Him from His true place as loving authority in my life. Taking his place? Why just little ol' finite me. I believe such an attitude IS damageing to my true personhood, regardless of whether I'm spoiled in Seattle or wondering where my next meal will come from in Uganda.
Ironically enough, in my limited experience with the poor they usually don't (not always) have the same hang-ups we rich folks have about getting their "rights" (or us getting them their rights for that matter). They've already lost everything or never had many rights to begin with. So are they uneducated or at least naive not to blame or question God/Christians/Anyone Else for their suffering? I don't believe so. In fact, I believe they're blessed in the sense that know they MUST DEPEND on others for the basics of survival. We rich folks have so much shit we think we don't need anything (unless its more rights), especially God. Fortunately I've heard the Beatitudes enough that, as difficult as it is to admit, I could use a bit more poverty in my life.
This idea of growing innocence makes me think of the idea of forgetting about ourselves. As Christians in America this gets tough, though, since we are continuously taught and indoctrinated with the notion that we are to esteem ourselves rather than forget ourselves. Beyond just tough, this tendency to esteem ourselves (really just a nice word for pride, what Augustine called the mother of all sins) becomes darn near heretical when it is presented as the Gospel to the rest of the world. Instead of presenting Christ's mission as mediator between us and God, we present His mission to the world as the one who wants to see us realize our potential. I've heard it described as the "gospel of fulfillment" and have heard it best articulated by Mark Driscoll:
"In this framework, I do not exist for God but rather God exists for me. For example, if the Lord's Prayer were rewritten according to Maslow's priorities, it would read, "My kingdom come, my will be done, for mine is the kingdom, the power, and glory.
The contemporary church's gospel of fulfillment essentially accepts Maslow's faulty hierarchy and teaches that God exists to actualize our full potential. So in this therapeutic gospel, you use Jesus to achieve your ends, which can vary from health to wealth to emotional contentment, or whatever personal vision you have for your own glory. What hinders the fulfillment of our full potential is not that we are sinners but rather that we don't love ourselves enough and don't have enough self-esteem and positive thinking. God exists to worship us, by telling us how lovable we are and how valuable we are. In this gospel, the cross is an echo of my own great worth, since God found me so lovable and so valuable that he was willing to die for me so that I could love myself, believe in myself, and achieve my full glory."
I have no problem fighting injustices around the world. I think the problem arises, however, when the world sees the Jesus of a false gospel presented by the Church. If someone comes away thinking "Wow, Jesus' sole purpose was to improve my station (political, socio-economic, physical, etc.) in life!" then that person has truly missed the Gospel.
I think of the Chinese pastor I heard of who is not primarily concerned with his rights to the point of packing a suitcase every time he goes to church since he knows he may be thrown in prison to rot at any moment. I've heard of Chinese Christians praying for guidance as to whether or not they want the religious freedoms or rights that Americans have because they've seen what kind of false gospels come out of our American churches.
That said, it's sure nice being able to worship freely as I work out my faith with fear and trembling every day instead of continuously having to worry about harm coming to my wife or son. I mean, I want food on our table and a roof over our head and clothes on our back, but I never want to think that that is the cause of Christ. If I find myself disenfranchised some day I won't find myself wondering where Jesus went.
Maybe a happy medium, so to speak, is clothing and feeding people in the name of Christ-as-mediator? If charitable things are done in the name of Christ and he is mistaken as only a guy who wants us to be happy and well, then isn't that a false Gospel? I mean can't I go to the United Way for that? How does Christ stand out from any other political or charitable organization? If he doesn't then I fear we as the Church have reduced His Good News to something akin to "Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley."
This is an interesting conversation. I resonate with points made by J.B. and Jacob, and chartreuse menagerie seems to bridge some of the gaps. As you mention, J.B., I can see ways in which the comments talk past each other too.
But isn't the idea that the weak, poverty-stricken, etc. have something that we Americans need more of (i.e., poverty) a bit patronizing? Can we really compare our gluttony/materialism to their pervasive lack and conclude that our spirituality would benefit from a little more of what they have? Is their poverty really blessed? Do those dealt injustice really have fewer hang-ups about receiving justice? Or has the will and ability to do so escaped them? Are they blessed for being forced to depend on others when so many do very little to bring fulfillment to that dependence?
On the one hand, the health-and-wealth gospel pervades not just American churches, but is preached loudly from churches in the slums of places like Nigeria as well. I know you're not saying this, but there is no sure connection between lack of things and fullness of heart. On the other hand, I realize someone in poverty would not benefit from my insatiable desire for a plasma tv, but neither would I benefit from their being forced to search for food in a landfill. Maybe we're losing each other in extremes or in different ideas of what it is to be "without." I just don't think I should benefit from someone else's lack and/or injustice. I would hope that my perspective might broaden, my spirituality deepen, as I struggle with them. Isn't that a bit of growing innocence, of modeling the presence of Christ? Isn't that part of a divine directive and the witness of the Church?
I understand that your main point in the comment may be that a materialistic perspective may benefit from one that is less controlled by riches. I guess I just wonder if the growth of innocence happens in concert with God in his fullness. If it doesn't happen in spiritual isolation, must it occur in human isolation? Or might it better reflect that mysterious Trinitarian relationship when it occurs in concert with the wider-church in the "spending of one's self" on behalf of others, oppressed or otherwise (indeed, you've mentioned others who've modeled growing innocence, but I'm thinking of something even wider than this)? Perhaps we should not question God's role in the existence of poverty, sickness, evil, etc., but it seems we have a divine directive to work against some elements of those. Might we not also grow innocence in such efforts? Might not that growth be even more full?
I am now sick of what I am writing and am sure it makes it sound like I've totally missed the point. I will stop and move on to regret clicking "publish your comment."
As I read my last comment it seems to come across as . . . angry. I certainly didn't intend it to be that way. I was just raising a few questions; questions which are a bit distant from the point of your original post, but questions nevertheless.
Chuck, thanks for the feedback and I appreciate your insights, specifically that you are solution-oriented in your comment. Ironically enough I had a dream Tuesday morning right before I woke up that we had a major disagreement (can't remember what about). And here we are (despite our differences here I think the friendship will survive).
I'm sure some of the "talking past one another" is due to poor communication on my part. You are right Chuck, it's not an either/or here, and my post in response to Jacob could be taken as such, although I feel that I made it clear that I am in no way in opposition to helping the poor/fighting injustice. I thought I was conveying that I didn't think it was an either/or either. Say that five times fast. Perhaps a miscommunication/misunderstanding has taken place on the way in which I feel that we as Christians are to fight injustice. And I'm certainly willing to own that I haven't fully fleshed out some of these ideas.
Yes, the discussion has mainly centered on areas a little beyond my original topic. However, I am okay with discussing the ideas or questions that bubble to the surface in discussion, as long as we are trying to relate it to the initial topic, which has been done.
My main point is that life is hard for everyone, and because of this we can quite easily become bitter. Is there a path that avoids this bitterness? If so, how do I get there? My conclusions are limited and may even sound naive. I am a very poor example of following this path, which was part of the very reason I initially wrote the post.
Part of the disagreement here seems to have arisen from the fact that I am a privileged, white American and as such, it is patronizing to make some of the statements I have above. I hear you guys, there is a lot of pain that I cannot specifically relate to because I have not experienced the same types of pain in America as say, impoverished Mexico. I would never want to assert that I am in the same shoes as those in these countries. I don't think anything I've written makes this assertion unless assumptions are made.
I certainly do not intend to be patronizing with my statements. If some privileged, white, middle-class 30 year-old was the one that had "invented" the idea of growing innocence than I see how it could seem that way. However, since what I'm espousing is something that has been "pioneered," not by the upper classes, but on the contrary, by the poor themselves (the only citation I can offer here is to read the Lives of the Saints), I feel more comfortable taking that stance that I am.
Reading in-between the lines of Chuck and Jacob's posts, I find the presupposition (correct me if I'm wrong) that we here in America are better off than those in "third world" countries. I'm not sure how else my comments could be construed as patronizing. Again, correct me if I'm wrong about this, but isn't this presupposition (if it in fact exists) a little condescending? Maybe they are responses to my limited experience of suffering in the world? I have no problem with that.
Nevertheless, I do not hold that view that I am necessarily better off than someone in say, Uganda. Again, my experience is quite limited and biased. Certainly we developed nations are better off in many, many ways that I take for granted every day. Still, I believe that those in developed nations are impoverished in many ways because of our wealth. Because of this type of poverty we also suffer, albeit in vastly different ways. I have absolutely no intention in trying to compare different types of suffering. I am ill-equipped to do so and besides, that isn't the point. Inherent in what I'm saying is that suffering exists in varying capacities in America and Uganda. It is part of the sinful human condition.
I did a poor job of explaining it in my comment above, but I was not trying to insinuate that I could benefit spiritually from the misfortune of others. I was referring to the Beatitude, "blessed are the poor in spirit" and using "poverty" in a spiritual sense rather than a material one. I wish I lived every moment of every day knowing that my life was sustained by God alone and I depended on Him for every breathe of my being. I stand by my words that the poor are blessed in this sense, (i.e. not every sense). Of course, the parable of the rich young ruler might disagree with us on that one ("if you desire to be perfect . . .")
As I've stated, my intention was to write a post about cultivating an attitude of inner humility and joy in the face of difficult circumstances. In my mind, this attitude has little to do with outer circumstances, no matter what they are, and are more a matter of inner disposition. The Saints believed that everything that happened to them in their lives were for their benefit. Everything. It gave them an opportunity for repentance and greater love for God and others. Part of this greater love often involved helping those in need, as you say Chuck, as a witness to Christ. The concepts aren't mutually exclusive. This would also invariably involve some of the relational aspects you spoke of.
However, as a clarification, I believe we have to be very careful about the way in which we fight injustice. I feel strongly that no matter what type of poverty we may experience, that in the face of it, we must be transformed internally first. Without this inner transformation I believe that trying to change circumstances is fruitless. I know it wasn't very clear, but my purpose in bringing up God's role in the existence of suffering, evil, etc., was that, looking back on my own experience, I was not in the process of being transformed internally when I fought against injustice. In fact, quite the opposite. The source of my motivation was not love and humility, but anger and rebellion against God. By the strength of my own ego I sought to try to change circumstances because it seemed that God was being unjust in allowing so much needless suffering to take place in the world (both here and abroad). That doesn't mean that I'm trying to dismiss the very real suffering of the poor and impoverished people of this world or say that life, with its tragedies and mishaps, isn't very much a mystery much of the time. What I am saying is in questioning God's justice I feel that I am dabbling in realms that I don't belong. My job is to continue to look to God as the ultimate source of love and be thankful for each and every circumstance that heads my way.
Well, that's about enough of that. If you've read this far you have my personal congratulations (or apologies depending on your opinion).
"I think the friendship will survive?" Well, I didn't necessarily see this as a disagreement or heated exchange. The wonderful thing about blogs, in my opinion, is that conversations begin that might not normally occur. Unfortunately, they are forced to occur at a distance and with gaps in between and we're always forced to read between the lines. Anyways, I was just seeking clarification as I might if we were talking in person.
I agree with what you've said. My concern has always been (not with you or anyone specifically, but in general) when we spiritualize or glorify suffering, persecution, poverty, injustice, etc. So often when this happens if effectively removes any responsibility from those who might do something about injustice from doing anything at all. Why would they, if it is something they "want" (I realize you weren't suggesting any of this). This happens so much when the West views global Christianity, and so often it is a surface perspective. But as I've had conversations with Majority World Christians, spent time in their churches, etc., I've noticed at times the same tendency in them, that is, to glorify their views of the other.
Of course, by contrast, we should not put ourselves in the position to demonize every difficulty either, working to eradicate what God has ordained. I think the point is to recognize what God has called us to do coming alongside the wider Church, just as they come alongside us. In this, there will surely be things that we must work against.
That was my main point or question: how can this growing of innocence occur alongside others? And by others, not just the others in our immediate midst. 10/4 good buddy.
Good question. I'm not sure that I have a good answer for it. I have virtually no experience with Christianity on a global level.I think I've read one book about it, and that hardly qualifies as experience. Locally, I'm involved in a ministry that makes and serves sancwhiches to the homeless, but that's the closest that I come to intentionally encountering 'the other' outside of my normal life experience. I know in 'normal life' that we are still encountering 'the other,' whether it be in our marriages, jobs, etc. But it seems as if you're pointing to something beyond that.
In my origial post and in my comments, I've indicated that primarily I am focusing on the internal struggle of my spirituality for the reasons that I've mentioned. However, I don't mean to indciate that this struggle is primarily an individualisitc one. I think it out of necessity involves interaction with some of 'the other.'I believe that life in Christ and formation to His likeness presupposes it.
What are your thoughts? How do you answer the question that you have posed?
I don't know, J.B. I am not Mr. Experience either. I'd presently like to grow some innocence by erasing every blog comment I've ever made.
I think the answer to my question occurs in ways we're not aware of, i.e., it doesn't always have to involve selling one's belongings and moving to the desert. But perhaps it is just a conscious effort to live for others. I don't know.
Yes, I am overwhelmed at times by what seems to be a rather disgusting self-awareness in my blog comments. That being said, I think you have much more experience in this area than I do. I'm not trying to be snarky here -- I think that the point/question that you raised is a good one. If you've got some more insights to share, let 'er rip and don't be shy. Seriously.
We're saving the world here -- it's no time to clam up (this last sentence is not as serious as the previous one).
Well, I didn't want to say it before, but I think if we simply blog our arses off that we will go a ways towards the answer we're looking for.
Seriously, though, someone asked me the other day for a bit of spiritual advice. I was embarrassed at what came out of my mouth and realized that I may be in too cynical a state to be doling out "wisdom." I just think there is something to consciously living for others, among whom should be the "least of these" (this does not contradict what you posted on, its more of an extension of it I suppose). Specifics on how to do that, beyond the obvious, are beyond me right now. So I merely turned the question into a statement which is a bit like begging the question. I've got nothing - the world rests in your capable hands.
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